The Bachelor: Ben Flajnik, Episode 3

Death Becomes Her, Part 2

The harem takes on San Francisco this week, which is where Ben currently resides. Ben meets up with his sister, Julia. She kind of looks like a lost Kardashian sister, only she's not crazy. Ben tells his sister about the girls. He thinks that his sister and Courntey would hit it off because Courtney is drama-free. HA, so he thinks. Wait til he watches the show.

The first 1-1 date goes to Emily. Courtney, of course, has to chime in with her thoughts. She thinks that Ben's date with Emily will be boring. You know, because girls that are book-smart couldn't possibly be fun. I'm still waiting for Courntey's personality to simmer down, it's so over-powering. #SarcasticSentence.

Date: 1-1
Bachelorette: Emily
Location: San Francisco, CA
Highlights: Ben lets Emily know that they will be climbing to the top of the Bay Bridge. It's a perfect date because both Ben and Emily are scared of heights. Not gonna lie, I would poop myself, and I'm okay with heights.
Back at the house, there is a conviently placed telescope that gives the ladies a view of the date. That doesn't sound like a set up at all. #SarcasticSentence Halfway up the bridge, Emily stops. Ben kisses Emily to calm her down. Those kisses better be laced with alcohol. My question is, now that they've made it to the top of the bridge, how do they get down? Yes, I know, the same way they went up, but you know it's not that easy. I would sit and butt-scoot down. No, I'm not kidding. At dinner, Emily tells the story about being matched with her brother on a dating site. I feel like I've heard this before. Oh wait, I have, at least twice this season and we're only on episode 3. Ben says that his father loved his mother because she was smarter than he was. Ben thinks that Emily is probably smarter than him. Uh, probably. Hear that Courtney? Booksmart is awesome. Now let there be fireworks!
Status: Rose

Date: Group
Bachelorettes: Blakely, Jaclyn, Kacie B., Erika, Samantha, Jamie, Monica, Rachel, Nicki, Elyse, Casey S.
Location: San Francisco, CA
Highlights: Ben tells the ladies that they are going skiing. Someone cue that confused sound Tim Taylor used to make. How do you ski in a place where it's warm and there is no snow? Well, you close down a hilly street and make your own snow, of course! I love all the random people watching. Props to Kacie B. skiing backwards, although not on purpose.
Back at the house, the last 1-1 date card arrives. The girls think it will go to Lindzi, who didn't get a date in Sonoma. It instead goes to Brittany, who isn't that excited about it.
I know that when I think of skiing, I think of lei's and tiki torches, which is exactly the kind of after-party we're having. Kacie B. starts to have her freak outs while watching Ben interact with the other girls.
Back at the house, Brittany is still feeling torn about going on a 1-1 with Ben. She decides that her heart is not in the experience, so she makes the decision to go home. Now she has to tell Ben.
Blakely has an infinite supply of feathered earrings.
Brittany tells Ben that she's leaving. Ben is surprised. He tells the girls that Brittany eliminated herself and hands out the date rose to Rachel.
Status: Rachel gets the date rose.

Date: 1-1
Bachelorette: Lindzi
Location: San Francisco, CA
Highlights: I feel kind of bad for Lindzi that she got this date by default. Nevertheless, Ben picks her up for their date. Lindzi must mean business because she's wearing her pearls. They start by taking a ride on a trolley care. They get ice cream and head into Chinatown, among other sites. They end their tour at City Hall. Suddenly Matt Nathanson appears to serenade them. Lindzi reminds me of Tenley, from Jake Pavelka's season. AFter dancing, they go to a place where you need a password to get in. Fancy. Ben gives Lindzi the date rose. To cap off the date, Ben teaches Lindzi some simple notes on the piano and plays his own ditty for her. Wait, that's not his own ditty, it's the song from the first episode. I want my money back.
Before the commercial break, we get to see a glimpse of a woman calling Chris Harrison to let him know that she's on her way to San Francisco and can't wait to see Ben. Who could it be? The suspense is killing me.
Status: Rose

No dates this week: Courtney, Jennifer

Pre-Rose Ceremony Party aka The Return of Shawntel N.
I love that the girls toast to a drama-free evening. HA, little do they know the shiz that's about to go down.
Ben tells Jennifer that she is hands-down the best kisser in the house. I think I saw some tongue action from Benny Boy. At least he's open-mouth kissing this time around.
Mystery woman tells us that they only reason she's being a party crasher is because Ben in the Bachelor. Mystery woman #1 is Shawntel N., the mortician from Brad Womack's second season. She's coming back to try to date Ben.
Courtney continues to offer up her unwanted opinions on other girls. She thinks that Nicki is immature, Lindzi makes faces at people, and Blakely is the type of girl that your bf cheats on you with. I'm still waiting for her to say she's not there to make friends. There's always one.
None of the other girls like Courtney. Shocker. Emily thinks Courtney has an undiagnosed disorder, and she would know. Casey S. just thinks that Courtney is misunderstood. No, I think she's understood very well.
Shawntel enters the party. All the other girls quickly take notice of her. Ben pretty much poops his pants when he sees Shawntel. I can't figure out why none of these girls know who she is. Ben wants to know why Shawntel is here. Shawntel says that she wants to know if something is there between them because they've spoken before and she feels like they have some unresolved feelings. She hopes Ben will give her a rose and keep her around. Ben tells the camera that Shawntel is exactly the kind of woman he would date, but he needs some time to think about it.
Remember that shiz that's hitting the fan? The ladies are not happy and immediately go on the offensive. Actually, a lot of stuff Rachel, Elyse, Erika, and Jaclyn are saying are pretty nasty. Talk about real-life mean girls. I get the territorial thing, but jeez.

Rose Ceremony
Rose-d: Emily, Rachel, Lindzi, Courtney, Kacie B., Elyse, Jamie, Jennifer, Casey S., Blakely, Monica, Nicki, Samantha...and then Erika faints. Ben decides not to give out the last rose. I think he's an idiot.
Sent Home: Brittany (eliminated herself), Erika, Jaclyn, Shawntel

Now you see why I titled this blog, Death Becomes Her Part 2. Erika fainted and Shawntel took Brad Womack to her family's funeral home and proceeded to have him lie on a guerney while showing him how to emblam a body. My hometown date blog during that season was titled Death Becomes Her. Not ironically, Shawntel was sent home during that episode, much like this one. Seriously, the joke writes itself. But I do feel bad for her. These Bachelor 16 girls aren't going to be making many friends from past seasons after this episode, that's for sure.

Next week...
Next up is Park City, Utah. Looks like Jennifer and Rachel get 1-1 dates. Courtney continues to be her lovely self while breaking down Emily.